NaPOwrimo, here we go!

 This is a duplicate entry to match that of my more "professional" blog, here.

Another four readings have come and gone since I last posted.

I shall update my web site to reflect the fact that I have - as of this moment - no upcoming events, apart from participating in student readings at the residency in Oregon in January.

Today marks the beginning of November. A change to the calendar page, a change in time (I used the extra hour dreaming, personally), and the start of a self-imposed challenge to mark this Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month) with my own NaPOwrimo. Rather than write 50,000 words toward a novel, and because 50,000 words towards a poem or poems feels, well, just obscene to me, I will write 50 poems this month. Distinct poems. Not necessarily long. Not necessarily finished, or brilliant - or even promising! - but 50 poems in gratitude for the opportunity to do so.

I composed the first of the fifty more or less in my mind and more or less between 3:30am and 5:00am this morning, between dreams. This is the right kind of insomnia to have.

How many hours do poets spend counting syllables with their fingers?

More Shameless Self-Promotion

I am so excited about my upcoming reading & book launch that I am busily posting it on my blogs, on my web site and in email to friends and supporters. 

Tuesday June 9th at 6:30 at the Novato Library: I'll be reading as part of the Marin Poetry Center's Summer Traveling Show. Michael Beebe hosts, and I'm reading with Brian Buckley, Marvin R. Hiemstra, Marilyn King and Paula Weinberger.

Friday July 10th at 7:00 at the Occidental Center for the Arts: It's the Book Launch for Before Noon at long last! I am honored to share this launch with Else Rosager and Clara Rosemarda.

Here's the picture of Else, Clara and yours truly:

I also have received word from Pacific University that my workshop leaders for the June residency are the wonderful Ellen Bass and Viviee Francis. I feel so fortunate to have the opportunity to learn from these poets, and grateful to have already worked with Marvin Bell, Eduardo Corral and Kwame Dawes. The Pacific University MFA program is phenomenal.

Circling Back

The last time I read Wordsworth, I was in college. A lifetime ago.
This morning I re-read this, and it makes a sense it never made before:

The World Is Too Much With Us
BY WILLIAM WORDSWORTH

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;—
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.

I hear you, William.

Friday Summary

This is a blog post without great deep consideration or even careful editing -  but because it is the end of a long and challenging week, and it is seven days since my last post, and for once my body woke up ready to write before 4:30am, I thought I would take a moment before leaving for work to post something.

Here are the highlights of the week:
 * Tour for 60 at work Tuesday. Worked a 10 hour day. Made all-I-have-left-in-me-to-do breakfast for dinner twice, because the dog ate the first batch of pancakes.
 * Wednesday: spoke at an Apple Specialist conference (ASMC) in the Hyatt near SFO about Emotional Customers, followed by a stop in China Town on the way north for some ham sui gok (咸水角), then a trip to the bank, the DMV and the pet store. Getting affairs in order and getting a new chicken! Then a concert at the big Farmers Market in SR - the Youth Orchestra performed, although S. and the other bass player were met with challenges as the wind wreaked havoc with their music in spite of the clothespins provided.
  *Thursday: another tour at work.

This weekend promises to be busy too, but in a good way. Although I did volunteer to be a good daughter-in-law and make brunch on Sunday and now I'm wondering what I was thinking...!

Sciatica and Recoveryr

They say that youth is wasted on the young. Early in April I found myself thinking that more to the point, health is wasted on the sound. I’d taken three days of work, and then a forth, to stretch it out, while my youngest was on spring break. And because in the end we weren’t traveling anywhere, my “staycation” to- do list was long and ambitious. I wanted to complete the weeding of the back yard – a two-day task in and of itself – and organize my office, and landscape the front yard, cut into small pieces the branches we’d brought down from the mulberry tree, write & read (of course!) and paint the master bathroom. Instead, I found myself limited to whatever I could do while standing in one place while I contended with brutal sciatica. Somehow, perhaps due to several somehows, I had tweaked my back in more than one place and paid a heavy price for it for nearly two weeks.

The experience was frustrating on many levels. But it also was humbling, and as I mentioned, certainly made me re-appreciate what I had been capable of before the problem occurred. It also reiterates the importance of daily stretching, which I’d done faithfully during the 8-week Whole Life Challenge I completed mid-March, but only rarely since. Sitting was almost impossible, sleep was difficult except in certain positions for very limited periods of time. I knew that resting is an important part of healing, but it was hard to rest when the only thing that stopped the pain was standing or walking. There was one old Vicodin in the house that I took one night, and it helped. But apart from that, I prefer not to take meds, and the Tylenol I’d tried didn’t really touch the pain. But I am so very blessed to have a fantastic chiropractor and her equally fantastic partner, who helped me with adjustments and two Tui Na sessions respectively.

And as I write this, I am much, much improved. And it is May, already. A new month. And another day! I find myself feeling very grateful.

Death and Taxes

I say "death and taxes" in the interest of not titling this post simply "Where I am in my life as of April 8th, 2015."

But the reality is that we filed our taxes weeks ago and have already had our returns deposited, which is lovely and helpful. So I have no new news on the taxes front.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said regarding death. Thursday the 2nd, our little green parakeet Einstein, whom we'd had for about ten years and who must have been at least 12, gave up the ghost. Einstein may never have learned to speak, but he could imitate his cage-mate the zebra finch (Henry VIII) so well we could not tell them apart. The spunky Henry continues to live on alone, having only spent part of Friday calling out for Einstein before giving up and lapsing into only his usual chirps and four-note calls in response to the microwave, dishes clattering or the vacuum cleaner.

On a more somber note, a colleague's mother just passed away after an alarmingly swift decline from a diagnosis of the reemergence of cancer. The colleague was very close to her mom, whom she called her "rock," and no doubt this will be a very difficult time for her. It brings back memories of losing my own mom, of course. April really can be the cruelest month in so many ways.

I am away from work for a few days while S. is on Spring break, and although any grand plans to travel to Monterey did not manifest themselves completely for a number of reasons, I have high hopes to do some good organizing of my office and weeding. Lots of excess to get rid of in both house and yard. (This is not to mention the excess I still would like to get rid of in body - healthy eating habits continue to be a challenge for me. Same old same old, but there is continued hope for change as other areas of my life are put in order and I feel less "out of control.")

S. had her first voice lesson in the city last Saturday, from a young coloratura soprano who (for all her youth) is really on her game and serious about singing. The location was easy enough to get to, on Masonic near USF She was charming and she and S. seemed to hit it off. It seems to be a good fit, and we'll continue to see her for lessons, remaining hopeful that she will, in fact, move to P-town as she said she may. When S. left the lesson, she said to the instructor, "I just have to tell you that this has literally been a dream come true for me." The girls agree that just to have the opportunity to sing on a Saturday is great; making it big is not the only goal; enjoying the process is its own success.

Happy (or Not) National Poetry Month 2015

You can learn more about National Poetry Month at this FAQ.

Here is the poster image for the year:

I wish I could say that I am as happy as this poster suggests, but the reality is that because CNN visited our work today to film a segment, I just went to the CNN web site for the first time ever to try to find the story. And while I couldn't track down the link, I did see all the other headlines, and it just made me feel so very, very sad and helpless about the state of the world. Even the "good" stories are sensationalist and emotionally manipulative. If I had to view life through the lens of CNN, I would likely just give up. Who watches those stories and reads those articles?

I have made a note to myself to not do that again.

And yet, denial never solved anything.

It may simply be that this evening all I have the strength to do is focus on what I do have power over: my attitude, my actions. Writing something. Drinking some water. Getting some sleep.

It feels like holding a mostly-empty bic lighter in a hurricane. But it may also be what tides me over until morning and (perhaps) the rebirth of hope.

Reading and writing poetry just might help too.

Spring is Here! and an Update on Before Noon

Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's - all of winter, St. David's day and the beginning of Spring has come and gone.

Much has happened and nothing has been posted on this blog. D. and I were not sorry to see 2014 go, as it was a year of necessary but painful reassessment and hard work.

He's moved his shop back into the house/garage because the building his shop was in was sold and nowhere else worked for his current budget. But his business continues to be steady.

R. has moved closer to home, having found it too difficult to get a job and too expensive to stay in a an apartment 4+ hours away without one. Lots of identity work going on there, too.

S. is still playing in two youth orchestras but would rather be writing or singing any given day.

I've gone to my first Residency for my MFA - a fantastic experience. I've written poems, commentaries and cover letters for the program, corresponding with the phenomenal Kwame Dawes as my current advisor. I am so blessed to have his insight, support and editorial eye.

I've been to Colorado to stay with one brother and go to another brother's wedding.

Finishing Line Press continues to offer my publication for sale here, and now it can be purchased on Amazon as well here.

There are plans for a book launch at the Occidental Center for the Arts on July 11th. I'm lucky enough to share the launch with two wonderful local poets, Else Rosager and Clara Rosemarda. More details to follow.

In general, though, I have not fully stepped into the life of a writer. Mostly because 50 hours a week I'm focused on being a Customer Service / escalation manager. I shall have to either become a more prolific poet in spite of my work situation or find a different way to manage things. That's all there is to it. Life's too short to give so much of it to something that doesn't feed one's soul or make the planet a better place.