Taking it Offline

I think that it's been good for me to blog for more than a month straight, and it's good that I have started to meditate daily. But I don't know how healthy it is to feel beholden to an invisible or imaginary audience to post something here daily, after all. I can see that when I miss a few days, it weighs on me as a "should," and I feel worse about myself because of it, so that any organic or natural impulse I have to write becomes secondary to the duty to write.

Again and again, the theme comes up in my life: love (or at least pleasure and license for happiness) weighed against duty (the should, the neurotic attempt to patch up self-esteem through good deeds, or necessary deeds, or doing what I think will please others). Ah, how funny it is! Little dog of my conscience, chasing its own tail.

So I think if I do have daily thoughts, I'll give myself permission to write them and not post them. And if I have weekly thoughts and want to post them, that's okay too.

Day One

It's the first day of May, and also the first day I can remember rising early specifically to meditate. For all of ten minutes, I sat on cushions on the living room floor and did what I could to disregard the puzzled dog and cats while they vied for my attention.

A month of blogging behind me, I am building on that now with this new practice. 

A one-day streak so far!

To bed now, in order to rise early again...