This is a post I started in January, when that was fresh news, and that sentence was all I have to say.
More importantly, since then, I quit the job I'd held for 19 years and now work for the local county library system, at the central city branch. A simple shift, but a huge one with significant repercussions.
Like so many other changes over the last two or three years - publishing a chapbook, keeping chickens then bees, getting a cat then an MFA - this career shift has enriched my life and has awoken a part of me that had been dormant for so long, one couldn't even call it hibernation. Bears wake up sooner, is all I'm saying. Rather, think about some seed (like a nelumbonaceae) that lies encased in itself for years while conditions are too poor to allow for survival, let alone growth.
As wikipedia tells me, "True dormancy or innate dormancy is caused by conditions within the seed that prevent germination under normally ideal conditions." And the nelumbonaceae family (also known as sacred lotus) is subject to what's called "physical dormancy" where the seed doesn't germinate because it is requires an external force to break through its impermeable coat. "In natural systems, physical dormancy is broken by several factors including high temperatures, fluctuating temperatures, fire, freezing/thawing, drying or passage through the digestive tracts of animals."
So maybe I just had to go through the belly of the beast and some freezing and fire before I could reach this place. This thought may prove helpful in my efforts to move forward without spending much time kicking myself for not having done so sooner. I didn't, perhaps because I couldn't have. And at any rate, I can't change the past. I can only move bravely into the future with (ever increasing) energy and a positive attitude and focus.
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