Shelter-in-Place Day 53

Another hot day, and one which I spent gardening and meeting with friends at a 6' distance in a backyard (BYOB). I collected patterns for making masks but did not yet make them - which gives me a Mother's Day task. N. came by for S. to help her with a hair dye job (from faded green tips to purple tips). S. read more of book two of her fantasy novel series to me.

I am perilously close to "tea with the Smiths" here, but it was a blissfully uneventful day. And somehow, I don't care that I don't have profound or clever thoughts to report. . I am content and hopeful that tomorrow will be a good day. A part of me wonders whether this is because there were a few niggling things that have been resolved: an email I'd needed to send sent, the Jaguar gone, a leak I was worried about in the front yard inspected and seen to be nothing serious, laying some stones in place, witnessing pollen going in to the new hive.... It really is the little things. Also, I have strengthened anew my resolve to eat healthfully and get into better shape, and recording that in a blog that at least one person sometimes might maybe read makes it so very official, too. So there's that.

Shelter-in-Place Day 52

Today was a significant day for our family, because it marked the departure of what had been a landmark in our driveway for *ahem* years. The 1990 V12 Jaguar convertible, which we called "M." (because who is a cooler British female than Dame Judi Dench as M?)

Note the mask-and-glove wearing man who did the pick up. A sign of the times.  

  There is a longer story behind all this, but the short version is that while this vehicle, which D. purchased for $1, was fun while it lasted, it had become an albatross that D. c/would not deal with when it came time to smog it for registration. We played chicken once for two years, then I had it fixed and it was greatly enjoyed again for a while, and then it sat, un-smogged, again for nearly two years. He didn't want to fix it up enough to sell it and he didn't want to fix it up to keep it. We donated it. And while D. no doubt felt some sadness at seeing it go, it was only his insisting that it had to go that prompted the donation. The week before it left, he told me he felt absolutely nothing about it going away. The day before it left, he admitted that he was a little sorry to see it go. But he agreed with his coworker, who had said, "In two years, you're not going to say, gosh, I sure wish I still had that car sitting under a tarp in my driveway." 

Shelter-in-Place Day 51

And now for something completely different. Except, not really. But this post is all about the bees. 

I inspected the Sonoma Mountain hive today, and didn't look at more of the brood nest than this one frame, which told me what I needed to know. Great pattern of worker and drone, sealed and unsealed, a few eggs, nectar around the edges. The big bees are drones - no queen on this frame that I could see. This hive is a little drone heavy right now, but the quantity and tightness of worker brood reassured me. The holes in the pattern might represent cells for bees to go in for heating the brood but also could reflect hygienic behavior (pulling out any larvae with problems). The population was not exactly happy about me going in, but I bet they appreciate the extra frames I gave them for brood and for storing more honey and the new super (box) on top. The hot day helped this process. I'll check the new swarm this weekend to see whether I have a laying queen yet. 

Shelter-in-Place Day 50

Once you say "day 50," it feels like a real chunk of time - a percentage of the year that is significant. And there will be at least another twenty days to follow. I suspect I may not be the only person waiting to see if there are spikes in covid19 cases as a result of both the loosening of restrictions and the protests in locations where restrictions have not been lifted as much or as quickly as some people want. N. has a ticket to fly to New Jersey in the second half of the month, but is wary. S. was invited to spend time with a friend in Oregon, with a long drive each way probably driven by that friend, and I don't know whether that's wise. The parental units for both parties need to decide on the matter. But again, I'm eyeing the news for spikes and developments.

In the meantime, I'm staying in touch with friends whom I might otherwise see on a regular basis, attending zoom work and poetry meetings, working on the house and garden and tending the pets. Today I processed a dozen or more frames of nectar and honey; the nectar and uncapped honey will be frozen for use as sweeteners in baking and preserves, etc., as otherwise it will ferment and I'm not up for making mead at the moment. 

Honey from extractor into a filter & bucket 4/22/20 extraction. 

The honey will be jarred and given to friends and family. My next task will be rendering all the wax, because almost all of these frames are old and I won't want to reuse them in either hive. So that will mean candles as well. I feel like a pioneer, but really these are just the things that most beekeepers do on a regular basis.  

Shelter-in-Place Day 49

I wrapped up a few little dangling tasks today, which are like dangling participles but require more paint and glue than from and to.  But again, it was a day that was full of activities and without real rest, and yet, I feel as though I have little to show for it. I suppose I would have even less had I truly done nothing, however....

There is much talk this week about the Japanese Giant Hornet having made it to the US (Washington state), where it can decimate (decapitate) whole colonies of bees. Its sting, too, is apparently horrific. I hope they're able to track and contain it before it heads south. At least it's not an "invisible enemy" like SARS Cov2. But yikes!

 

Shelter-in-Place Day 48

I have left posting this until too late in the day. After watching/listening to a four hour Library Commission meeting (and alternately, a poetry reading for the first couple of hours of that), frankly, my brain is fried. 

So I'll just note the current coronavirus statistics: 3,584,118 confirmed, 251,562 deaths. But of course, these are just the figures we know and that are noted on the Johns Hopkins site. Some people say they're very low estimates, other people (perhaps including those protesting the shelter-in-place extensions) say they're grossly exaggerated. 

And I'll add that in addition to making insurance phone calls and doing eBay tasks and chores today, I've also undone about twenty rows of knitted scarf because I made the mistake of trying a new stitch and couldn't fix what I broke. Also, the bees are no longer being robbed in the new hive, but one of them stung me on my eyelid without warning (normally a bee yells at you quite a bit and gives you a lot of heads up before she stings, unless you've stepped on her). I'd been sitting a chair watching the hive for a long time, but I'd started hoping I would see the queen emerge (to mate). I swear bees are mind-readers and heard me focusing on their queen and took umbrage. Oh, well. I put a little honey on it and a little ice and you can't even see it, and I can hardly feel it. Occupational hazard. 

Shelter-in-Place Day 47

I installed the new swarm colony early this morning and then spent a couple of hours sitting next to the hive watching it. The truth is, I could watch beehives most of the day and not get bored.

This probably harkens back to my ant-keeping days, and it makes me wonder how much of my personality is comprised of this observer trait.  And whether that's helpful for a writer, or a sign of laziness and passivity, or just the neurosis that results from a childhood in which it is necessary to assess one's environment for potential flare ups of mental illness or anger.  Or a little of each.

Or hey, maybe it just goes along with my tendency to overthink everything. See above.

And at any rate, I have always loved critters, as evidenced by many a pose with pets and at petting zoos from the days when my hair was blonde and my skirts were short.

Shelter-in-Place Day 46

Well, that didn't take long.

Yesterday, I said goodbye to a bee colony I'd had for more than two years. It was just too dwindled to protect itself against robbing. But then today, I got the call that someone had a swarm for me. Yippee! I arrived after it had been captured by our local swarm catcher extraordinaire, whose wife said this makes thirty-three swarms he's handled this season.

I picked up the box about half an hour ago, and everyone was snug and quiet. I almost doubted that they were in the nuc at all, but I put my ear to it and could hear a deep hum, and I could feel the heat from them on the box. It was a feral colony living in a tree about five feet from where it swarmed. I'm especially happy to have a local, acclimated group. I'll transfer them to my hive box tomorrow very early. They'll be able to keep the robbers at bay, so that's good.

In other suburban farming-type news, we finally confirmed where the wood rats were getting in to the shop (and attic!) and we were able to stucco the large hole closed. But not before I found a sick specimen in a patch of insulation I was removing from the shop ceiling for that very reason. I hate hate hate killing anything. I even feel twinges of guilt about ripping up weed after weed after weed. But this critter was on its way out anyway from a poison we'd used - after much research into whether it would affect secondary predators and whether it was a painful death - no to both, as far as we could determine, or we never would have used it. D. dispatched this one, although he too doesn't like having to kill anything.

It rained this evening, which was a surprise, but I think tomorrow will be dry. The 8pm howls and fireworks are getting louder and crazier. There were two or three huge BOOMs tonight. I'm telling you. It's very Star Trek red hour to me.

Nearly a quarter million deaths but over a million recoveries. I thought writing that would be a positive thing, but actually, I don't like those odds.

Shelter-in-Place Day 45 - May Day

We have survived April.

Today, Sonoma County extended the shelter-in-place order, with some modifications. I didn't see an end date; it will be in effect until it's no longer in effect.  3,344,274 confirmed covid19 cases worldwide. 2 deaths in Sonoma County. Not likely that I'll be back at work Monday. Speaking of which, I spent nearly three hours listening to most of a Library Commission budget meeting, and at this point in the evening, I don't have it in me to even start to describe what that was like. Long and inconclusive might sum it up best.

This morning, I braved Costco. This afternoon, I worked with my beekeeper mentor to assess a hive that as of 8:30am was being robbed. In fact, I spent the first hour of my morning spraying down the hive, knowing that it was probably too late for that tiny population.  Later, I did an hour-long workout.

The chronology of my day is distorted in this post. Here's the real run-down:
Fend off robbing bees (and getting soaked in the process)
Costco run
Walk Dog
Budget Meeting on zoom
Beekeeping with mentor (tearing down most of a hive)
Work-out
Dinner
Welsh soap-opera watching
Episodes of The Office
Reading & knitting when possible

More work on beehive equipment tomorrow, and likely extraction of nectar (do I dare make mead?), just as I had cleaned out the extractor.

Shelter-in-Place Day 44

I gave blood today. Literally. But before that, I was already feeling rather anemic as I listened to my talented poet friends read their hit-it-out-of-the-park poems. Especially when I then read my feeble attempt. I realize this sounds very woe-is-me, but it's just that I could see a real difference between where they were with their work and where I was today. I'm not smart enough to do this, I thought.

But I also thought that I have a choice: I could take that feeling of inadequacy and the probably-disproportionate low self-image, throw my hands in the air, have a little pity party with little pity party piñatas and pity party cupcakes and punch, or regard the experience as something that can be a teacher. (Actually, the pity party cupcakes might have helped with any low-blood-sugar contributing to the feelings...)

After the poetry zoom session, I walked for an hour to D's work to pick up the car so I could get S. from work and then go to the blood donation, and for the whole walk (actually, much of it was a jog, because I was late), I thought about how I could improve that inferior poem. And I thought about other poems I want to write. And how they could be better. So I guess for better or worse, I'm not ready to throw in the virtual towel yet.

Shelter-in-Place Day 43

I spent far too long today knitting and listening to Commonplace. Not the worst use of my time, and I certainly did other (more important) things as well, including a workout and emailing the Library Commission to express the desire I share with so many of my coworkers to find alternative ways to promote the library and support our communities. I think most of us would be willing to work from home to answer technical and reference questions, perform library advisory, translate a backlog of things into Spanish. But so far, working from home has not been allowed except to a very few people.

As reported in publiclibrariesonline.org, apparently, San Francisco public library employees are busy right now in spite of branch closures:

As employees of the City and County of San Francisco, many library workers are being activated on a regular basis as Disaster Service Workers (DSWs) to perform a variety of functions – food pantry workers, contact tracing, cataloging of government documents, bilingual community outreach, among other assignments.

I think at least one of my colleagues has proposed that we volunteer to help with services such as these, but at the moment the Library administration and Union are negotiating how to meet an expected budget shortage, whether/how payroll might be affected, when/how we might return. And then the Commission will weigh in and have the final say about most decisions. Having sat in on a Union zoom meeting last night with about 70 other people, I can say it's complicated. 

Interesting to note that the same article mentions Seattle library is considering opening only their restrooms as a start to help communities. A very valuable service, but I can only imagine how much sanitizing would be involved to protect staff and patrons right now.

Shelter-in-Place Day 42

Today was the first day I can really say I felt emotionally vulnerable since this "SIP" started. I think I was triggered by listening to the news for a few minutes and then going to two different grocery stores only to realize that in both cases, it was before 9am on a Tuesday, and therefore designated "senior" shopping time. And when I went back out to the stores, I saw a couple of cases of very loose interpretations of "social distancing" by people who frankly did not look well. 

My heightened emotions and briefly shaky mental state gave me only the smallest sense of how difficult this pandemic must be if one is concurrently dealing with mental illness.

Of course, thinking about other people who are suffering is only sometimes a good way to snap out of your own anxiety and refocus on compassion. Other times, it can be counterproductive. What helped today was the knowledge that what I was feeling would soon pass. As it did.

Shelter-in-Place Day 41

I had thought to write about the bee hive inspections and "manipulation" I did a few days ago in this blog post, but it will have to wait for another day. At least we have good weather right now, so that any queens who are needing to find a DCA (drone congregation area, aka speed dating hookup spot) will be able to go out, mate with seven or more males - who then die - and find her way back to the hive to start laying. Provided she can find her way back and does not get eaten by a bird, lost, fly into an oncoming car...it's a dicey world out there.

Speaking of which, yesterday I found a dragonfly who had lost most of one of her four wings and was all but dead. I was so saddened. I wanted to help. I couldn't. Both I and my older daughter wanted to be "bug doctors" when we were children. Maybe that feeling doesn't go away. I moved the dragonfly first from our pond, where it was floating, to the cement, then out of the sun. It was strange and beautiful, even in its broken state. Which reminded me of the world. I had the same helpless, it's-too-far-gone feeling with this alien-eyed insect that I sometimes do with the planet. 

It reminded me of the poet Adam Zagajewski's beautiful poem, here translated by Clare Cavanagh:

Try to Praise the Mutilated World

Try to praise the mutilated world.
Remember June's long days,
and wild strawberries, drops of rosé wine.
The nettles that methodically overgrow
the abandoned homesteads of exiles.
You must praise the mutilated world.
You watched the stylish yachts and ships;
one of them had a long trip ahead of it,
while salty oblivion awaited others.
You've seen the refugees going nowhere,
you've heard the executioners sing joyfully.
You should praise the mutilated world.
Remember the moments when we were together
in a white room and the curtain fluttered.
Return in thought to the concert where music flared.
You gathered acorns in the park in autumn
and leaves eddied over the earth's scars.
Praise the mutilated world
and the gray feather a thrush lost,
and the gentle light that strays and vanishes
and returns.

Shelter-in-Place Day 40

It was a day for lightening up: I took pictures of, then threw away,  guitar song sheets from 1973 (lots of things like Hang Down Your Head, Tom Dooley, Tingalayo and Get Together (by the Youngbloods). I also did the same with ribbons that I won swimming when I was 10-12 years old (Go, Marinwood Waterdevils!). Lots of 4th, 5th and 6th place colors, some 2nd, and one 1st.  I was not at all fast, and I hated the competitions, but I actually enjoyed practices in the early morning, with the steam rising from the pool to mingle with the fog.

I also sorted through papers today (so many papers!), weeded, weeded more, "went to" a poetry book launch on zoom, laughed for about an hour straight with the kids when N. stopped by and S. learned the joys of playing the mouth harp, and encouraged D. while he started to clean and fixed a couple of half-done light switches.

As I said, a day for lightening up. In many ways.

Where have all the flowers gone? Must be somewhere behind the weeds....

Shelter-in-Place Day 39

These days, the weekends are distinct only because neither D. nor S. work Saturdays or Sundays, and so they are here all day.

I have always had a terrible problem with being cranky at people who are relaxing while I am "working," but there is no way I can justify that crankiness now. These two are actually physically going to work during the week, while I am at home trying, but failing, to get Everything™done. They deserve to play D&D, nap, hang out, mod games, do nothing if they want.

Ironically, I got more done today than usual, so far. Submitted poetry before 6pm, weeded, cleaned the honey extractor equipment, cleaned the guest bathroom (yikes!), worked on a poem, listened to Commonplace while knitting (that was my break), and moved some empty boxes out of our bedroom. The idea has been to transfer an assortment of things, once I've gone through them and know what I'm keeping, into these boxes. But that's an idea that's been stalled out for so long, it's embarrassing.

Another important breakthrough happened, however, and I look forward to sharing it once it's a fait accompli. 

In the news lately, there has been a spike in calls to poison control centers because people are apparently following someone's suggestion aboutgetting light in the body or injecting disinfectants:

THE PRESIDENT:...So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous — whether it’s ultraviolet or just very powerful light — and I think you said that that hasn’t been checked, but you’re going to test it. And then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way, and I think you said you’re going to test that too. It sounds interesting.

ACTING UNDER SECRETARY BRYAN: We’ll get to the right folks who could.

THE PRESIDENT: Right. And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning. Because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it would be interesting to check that. So, that, you’re going to have to use medical doctors with. But it sounds — it sounds interesting to me.
So we’ll see. But the whole concept of the light, the way it kills it in one minute, that’s — that’s pretty powerful.

Words fail me. 

Shelter-in-Place Day 38

I have a very short memory when it comes to some things. If I wanted to lie, I could say this comes from living in the present moment. (Ha! Not so....) I think it's more likely a defense mechanism learned early on and tied to compartmentalizing. This is just to say that I can hardly remember, at all, what day-to-day life was like before the pandemic.

I mean, if I thought about it, I'd get there. But the past has a very unreal quality to me. Early senility or associated disease? Let's hope not.

On a more humorous note, however, last night I dreamt that I had died (that's not the funny part), and the afterlife, I realized, was basically like a stage set of New Orleans a few days after Mardi Gras. I have never been to New Orleans, but this place had streets lined with creole townhouses, shuttered bars, jazz joints, and little cafes with bistro tables on the sidewalk. There was post-party detritus everywhere, and people were walking around looking slightly confused and regretful. The good news was that the deal was you had all the time you needed to spend at this place and figure out what you hadn't figured out while alive. It was like a cross between sheltering in place and Groundhog Day.

photo by Ken Lund, from flickr commons

Maybe I've been spending too much time alone.

Shelter-in-Place Day 37

Jarred up some honey today, wrote, submitted poems, had a zoom session with other poets, made a phone call to a colleague, did laundry and dishes and garden work, and had wine with a couple of friends at a social distance with masks (between sips) in the back yard of one of the women. Washed hands thoroughly afterwards. This is not the exact order of events, but it represents the day. Again, how am I not doing the other things on my to-do list when I have all day? It's a mystery. Although I will admit that the wine I had (on an empty stomach) made me feel as though my whole body had been novacained. So that represented a slow down in productivity this evening.

Shelter-in-Place Day 36

On the coronavirus front, here's the latest news that I think is worth noting:

• cats have tested positive for the virus. 😿
• the city of Santa Rosa expects a $20 million shortfall from decreased sales, hotel tax, and permit revenues. Next year, they expect property tax revenue to decline as well. 
• the county has put up signs regarding travel so that people can't claim ignorance if stopped by authorities.

https://www.pressdemocrat.com/news/10912106-181/sonoma-county-signs-discourage-nonessential

The loss of tax revenue will impact the library considerably, although I missed the budget meeting that discussed possible changes that will result. The Union and Administration are in conversation about payroll changes. I've not been as involved as conscious dictates I should be. So that will likely change now. At the very least, I can show up and be informed. 

Shelter-in-Place Day 35

I really don't understand how I can be home all day, be busy and active all day, and still manage to get so little done. The great plans I have before that first cup of coffee have typically come to naught by the time I go to bed.

But at least I got into my larger hive today to see what had happened to it, and it's not only queenright but there is a tiny brood starting up again and a tiny population to help them. I hope there will be enough workers to feed the brood. The other, smaller hive, has a huge population but frame after frame of drone brood - another type of problem entirely. In the next day or two, when the weather is even hotter, I'll do a little more work with both and may have my first honey of the season to process soon.

I also worked on poetry for hours today - my own and that of others, and did weeding and other around-the-house chores. And hope springs eternal that tomorrow I'll accomplish more.

Sunday, I helped neighbors weed the front yard of another neighbor who had left in an ambulance earlier in the week - essentially a 5150. We are doing what little we can to assist with his situation. It felt good to do something for someone else outside of the family, but it's nothing in the scheme of things. The death count in the city of New York alone is nearly 15,000 as of right now.  And I'm worrying about weeds.

Shelter-in-Place Day 34 and Married-to-D. Year 30

As our 29th wedding anniversary, today marks the beginning of our 30th year married. We celebrated by telling each other we loved each other. Which made today no different from every other day.

No dinner out, of course, although I made pork tenderloin with a glaze and mashed potatoes for him, and a quesadilla for myself before I joined a zoom poetry critique group meeting. No cards or presents, either, but we're not big on those anyway. We may try for sushi take-out later in the week, and next year, we hope to have a better celebration. But what will the world look like then, I wonder?

Today the price of oil went negative for the first time ever. The number of confirmed covid19 cases is nearly 2.5 million. Protests are popping up here and there because people (Americans) want the stay-at-home orders lifted. Protestors want to go back to work, restart the economy. They want their "freedom" back but do not seem to believe or care that it's not just their own health they put at risk with their actions. Just thinking about it makes me cranky.

I feel as though the protestors must not know someone who has been laid low or killed by this virus. According to the estimates, that won't be true for much longer.