Shelter-in-Place Day 57

Although I don't think I anticipated spending nearly two months sheltering-in-place, I admit that when we left the office that last day, I took with me the photo of my daughters and artwork they had given me, which I'd had posted around my desk. Just in case it's a long time before we return, I thought. 

And while I can now start to envision a day when I will return to work at the library, I know this will always be a time apart. Maybe the first time apart of several. Or many. That's the thing with the unexpected. Once it happens, you can perceive it happening again - you start to expect the unexpected. 

There is probably a comparison between this kind of thinking and PSTD or a the results of a history of childhood abuse. And if it were not so late at night, I might dive deeper into exploring this. But as it is, ten minutes ago, I didn't think I could manage to post anything at all in this blog. I was wondering why I was keeping track of anything in this way. 

But if posting daily has taught me anything, it's that I don't have to disappointment myself if I choose not to. More and more often these days, with the space and time and quiet possible in this situation, I am showing up for myself and doing what is healthiest for me. And the more I do so, the stronger those muscles get. Hallelujah, amen.