Many a new

Happy May Day!

Thanks for the comments, ladies. It's interesting. I completely believe that Clare could be a writer like her mom was and is, but I realize that I can't (maybe I should say, "can't yet") believe in it for myself. Is that an honest assessment of my lack of ability, or just my lack of belief in myself that's speaking? And if it's the latter, well, dammit, I need to take steps to change that.

Last month, I wrote a couple of new poems & posted one here. Here's what I'll do this month to strengthen/create my vision of myself as a writer. I'll write at least two new poems and will send something out to a magazine or journal. Today, the part of Julia-daring-me will be played by me. Since she's busy with a new baby and all that.

And I think Lisa 's comment to yesterday's post is valid. If such a thing can be done and if I can be thick-skinned/confident enough to stand the unavoidable potentially ugly fallout associated with it, I should try to change where I sit at work from one room to another. As one of Lisa's teachers once told her about Evolution: "Change, Adapt, or Die."

Hmmm. So what have I learned from my forty-five minutes on the internet tonight? That my self-esteem and self-confidence are still too low. That I shouldn't beat myself up over having low self-esteem. (Because for some reason, that just seems counter-productive.) That some people claim to have seen UFO's around the WTC during the attack. (You'll notice no hot link to those web pages. I'm sure you can find them if you're so inclined.) That Suzanne saw an amazing sight today. And (again) that I can sit down hoping I'll come up with something to say and - lo and behold! - the words come. Even if it's self-reflective stuff.

And since I have to get up for work in 5 hours (stop laughing, D), I'm done for now. And yeah, that sleeping 8 hrs a night thing didn't last (as some of you knew it wouldn't). But I remember it fondly, and it's something to try again soon.